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One Dyin' One Buryin'

by Off Balance

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1.
At The Helm 02:03
I'll never call out to the god that isn't there / Absent my whole life, a non-entity that doesn't care / Living past failures, endless nights the same bullshit / Selfish humanity inspired me to quit / The future's dead and gone, stuck in the past I obsess / Proceed everyday, can't reach through the emptiness / Inside these walls are dark and unforgiving / I walk amongst you, seething yet grinning / In dire need of something to cloud my perception / The pain of understanding brings upon this depression / A futile search for meaning in the here and now / Sometimes another sip makes it smoother somehow / I've never fit in and I never can / Incapable of dealing with another man / When I look back, that's how I've always felt / Mental disorders I've been dealt / This desolation takes hold and starts to overwhelm / In my mind's struggle, death is at the helm
2.
Staring in a mirror, the pain won't go away / A paradox, no absolutes, only shades of gray / Reflection gets ugly, by the moment I grieve / Truth and purpose, I just can't conceive / Until my dying day, I'm plagued within my head / Can't seem to put this internal conflict to bed / Must have been a dark force that siezed the placenta / From my very conception I'm doomed for dementia / Made unlike any, I claw to get out / Until day burns night, then I swim in doubt / Overwhelmed by distress, can't put to rest the confusion / Reality and sanity are just an illusion / Of my self and this world I don't think very much / I can hold a bottle but love I can't touch
3.
Everything happens for a reason or so that's what I'm told / I have a hard time believing this as I sit here growing old / Cold and desolate, filled with fear / There is no one that holds me dear / Or a single soul who genuinely cares / Just a facade of concern that leaves me bare / I don't know how long I can survive when fear of death is all that keeps me alive / The evil of humanity I thought I could resist is taking it's toll and starting to persist / Perplexed as to why I'm so full of hate / Distrust of motive I just can't relate / To you or any of your kind / No human on the Earth is at the level of my mind / Ongoing conflict, anguish inside my head / All hope for the better is as good as dead / The world at large breeds all frauds / Refuse to fit their dye - forever outlawed / FOREVER OUTLAWED / My smile is a disguise for my inner pain / Yet for me to smile is such a strain / Doomed to a life of letdown and failure / Harsh actuality is there will be no savior / Despair overwhelms, no faith in tomorrow / Reality's absurdity delivers only sorrow / Find a manic escape / I must inebriate / With every swig I laugh at fate / Pierce this jaded state / Shun the progress of man - futility abound / Until the essence of life is driven through the ground
4.
This loneliness permeates / The daily struggle to stay awake / To not close my eyes and end all this pain / Trip to the other side, put to dead my brain / Is death the best way out, will I ever get the balls? / Or just suffer through these motions suffocated by these walls / Lost and alone are the only things I know / All I can focus on is which way I'll go / A bullet, a hanging or O.D. on pills / The only sure fire way to cure all these ills / Come crushing down on me all these bullshit lies / I can't even look myself in the eye / One dyin' and a buryin' some cryin' and six carryin' me / I wanna be free!

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HARDEST OF THE HARDCORE!!

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released April 20, 2011

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Off Balance Indianapolis, Indiana

Sheer Terror, Judge, Breakdown, Blood for Blood, Cro-Mags, Madball, Bulldoze, Cold As Life, Bitter End, Death Threat, Guns Up!, Hoods, Integrity, Judge, Killing Time, Merauder, Mushmouth, Negative Approach, Neglect, No Redeeming Social Value, One Life Crew, Rival Mob, Sheer Terror, Sick Of It All, Skarhead, Slapshot, Stout, First Blood, Cold World, Warzone, Wisdom In Chains, 86 Mentality ... more

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